So, this weekend was Persa-con! It started out as an all right con, although nothing compared to AWA and A-kon.....but I was super excited/glad to see my long lost Emory friends!!! Sorry I didnt hang out with u guys more but I had to keep one of my other friends company so he wouldnt b all alone and then there was the fact that the two famous kids had rehearsals and such, lol. Hopefully I will see more of you guys at AWA!!! Anyways.....kool kon, bought some super stuff, and got to see some awesome ppls!.....Not sure how Sentai will go for next year's con but we shall see...hmmm.........man, I really need to start using this more often, yay for blogs! :-P

Ever felt like you are surrounded by people but  have no one to really talk to? I have friends, and dont get me wrong, they're great but I dont feel like I have any one who really cares...I mean someone I can just spill my heart out to and they really care. Maybe I sound emo, but isnt this what a journal is for? -to really just get it out. Most of my friends are in huntsville and I miss them. My "best friend" ditched me on my birthday (which still hurts a lot, considering she didnt call, didnt show up when we were supposed to meet, turned off her phone when I tried to call her, and on top of all that she called me the other day - not to appologize- she just acted like nothing was wrong. I wish she cared. My friends here in b'ham are nice, but I feel like they cant be real with me and sometimes you need that in a friend. Mostly I just want someone who cares just as much about me as I do about them, someone to share my secrets with, and someone who can make me smile again (even if only for one day). And so it seems my home life is falling apart, my friendships are falling apart, and Im sure that grade on my math test didnt help...
Sorry if im being depressing, but it really helps to be able to vent somewhere...even if no one realizes my pain. Im one of those people who bottle it up because I know that being sad makes people uncomfortable, and Id rather us have fun. I love to laugh, I just wish I did it more often like I used to... Anyway, if any one does read this, thanks for putting up with me again and may you find many happy moments.
And as always- May your swords stay sharp

Am I that person that always gives and gives and my friends only take, and eventually Im left out completely because I always care more than them. Maybe I do care too much, but I cant help it, thats who I am. Its not that Im not a confident person, I just don't like to hurt people, no matter how much they hurt me. In the past year, I've gotten better at not letting people hurt me because they feel like it. I even said bye to someone who continuously used me, before they had anymore chances to hurt me. And ya know what, it felt good. Anyway....lets see....saturday is my birthday and my own mother scheduled her golf tournament that day. My "best friend", admittedly,  forgot it was even my birthday on sat. Yes, I do think this seems a little stupid...I don't want people to buy me stuff, I just want to know they care... thats it. Is that so much to ask for? If I have ever made anyone feel left out or rejected, I am terribly sorry, because that was certainly not my intention. WOW, it feels good to be able to just let all this out...I forgot how much I miss writing in a journal. Maybe this journal thing will become a regular practice again...we'll see. -thanks for putting up with my rant....and as I used to say....
May your swords stay sharp,
-Courtney